Death and resurection

You may have thought this was dead. It isn't. It was "just restin' a bit". Tried xanga for a while, didn't like it, got lazy, time passed, and here we are.

Where are we? time will tell, because I dont know. I currently live in Fort Worth, Texas. Yup. A Texan! Who'd a thunk, right?

A new Josh Ritter song fills my ears. My ears are happy.

Time is whacked. In an arguable sense it is flying by, and in that same sentence, it is crawling inexplicably slow.

Working. Which is a blessing. But the bigger picture is I am enjoying it immensely! I haven't had this much fun at work in a long time. In the past it's not from a lack of good company or affected by bad company, of which I have had a lot of both. The artistry that has come from my hand is something even I am surprised by, not that I am amazing or something the world hasn't seen before, but I built that...with my hands...I have an inflated pride in ownership. Lord keep me humble.

Speaking of whacked time, the rushed part is trying to hash out time for life, simple things like laundry, email, phone calls...it is harder than you might think. Working in the city is fun, the commute is small so I can work more which is good, but it makes time like gold...precious and hard to find. Most my evenings are spent learning...learning to love..learning to lead...learning to apply the tools I have learned all my youth to the application for which I was taught. You grow up learning principles, practices, ect.. but it is a whole different game when you have to use them, I want to do this with more care and attention to detail and handling than even my finest of work, but its like needing a pair of scissors and using a chain saw. I am thankful she is more patient with me than I ever deserve. The patience and encouragement she gives me is like none I have recieved from anyone before, I have known anyone this close, I have never been known this close...this vulnerable, but by exposing that vulnerability she know my weakness and builds on it, knows my strength and lets me rescue her. To be the knight with a sword of rescue I am not worthy, my hands are covered in filth, my garments tarnished with foolishness, but I realize my strength avails me not, and it is by HIS grace that I am covered, washed, and made worthy. Her colors on my flag and lace in my pocket (figuratively) I go, I build, I concquer. She makes me noble, not by the beauty of flesh, but the beauty of grace in her life, given to me...She is beautiful.
I catch my breath every time I see her, she doesn't know.

*breaths*

...
Well, I am back.. I think. I will be here more often. The tale is being told and I'll try to catch some of it down in words here.

I pray our Lord bless and keep each of you this day and the next.

Lord keep me humble.

-J